Sexual Health in Advancing Age

Is it possible to father children and have a tremendous sex life when age isn’t on your side?

Answered by Dr Vijayant Govinda Gupta (Mens Health Expert New Delhi India)

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Mick Jagger had a child at 73 with a significantly younger partner. Not only is this commendable, but a beacon of hope for all of who are in denial of our right to our sexual health to go out and achieve it.

The traditional Indian scenario from eons takes heavily from the ancient Hindu customs. Classically, the Indian man will abandon “grahastha jeevan” (having a wife and being a father including procreating or having a sex life) after a particular age and then is expected to move onto “Sanyasa” or renunciation. This renunciation would include giving up all house holder responsibilities and move on, maybe to the mountains for meditation and prepare for death or achieving moksha or freedom from rebirth. This was the call of those times, when life expectancy was less, marriage was early, children would be born by the age of 12 or 13 years, and soon you would end up with a situation where there were two men in the house and the father and child would have a difference of only 10 or 12 years. This was a terrible situation in terms of managing a house in terms of income and wealth and also the presence of younger women in the house with a not so elderly head of the household.

A convenient solution would be to peacefully send the elder men into sanyasa or renunciation.

But, the scenario has changed completely in modern times. Most elder men today are in their 50’s 60’s or 70’s. Have good health and will hope to live for years to come. They are financially independent, many will live alone with their children well settled.Today Old age is not a burden, but an another chance to live life on ones own terms. Todays old and elderly look at life with the chance to do things they could not do their youth, albeit with better financial ability, without family responsibilities or guilt. Retirement today is a goal and not a dreaded eventuality.

With this comes the question. Can the elderly enjoy a good (no wait a terrific) sex life? The overwhelming answer is a Yes!!!

Many elderly men I have met find themselves guilty of this thought and are hesitant to even take help advice or consider the fact that a healthy fruitful sex life is their right. And what they decide to do in their private life is not a whim of societal approval.

For elderly men, or for a better word I would use the name “The new young” sexual pleasure may mean many things. It would mean the ability to satisfy their partners. For some it may mean doing things they though was taboo their entire lives. Some elder men who have had the misfortune of being divorced or widowed, my find themselves with younger women and partners.

Some elderly may just want to reignite the romantic flare in their relationship and have found that with the children gone, travel is a real possibility. And with this renewed vigour, they find wanting in the department “down there”.

Some men have never found love in their long lives, and find true love at a fairly late age. These men would want the gift of a child of their own and may be concerned with the fertility options out there.

No, matter what your definition of intimacy is, it is essential to realise and acknowledge is that you have the right to explore and enjoy every possibility that there is out there. You only have one life, and at your age it is more stark clear than ever and you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of a terrific sex life.

What should you do?

I urge you to get control over your sexuality and accept it as a valid desire. Once their is acceptance that it is ok, then only would you be to pinpoint your needs and be able to explore the tools required to meet them.

Today there are ample scientific evidence based methods to achieve any goal including correcting Erectile Dysfunction in the Elderly or achieving fertility goals in the aged.

I wish to re assert that getting help is not equivalent to treatment. it is not a disease that you are getting treated for. It is lifestyle help that you are acquiring that you need. Why as we age, we accept the greying of hair and correct it with dyes, we accept loss of cardiovascular strength and accept it as normal, but we deny our decrease in sexual health as a disease. It is not a disease. It is the normal component of ageing, and it can be slowed stopped or reversed depending on your desire and level of commitment.

Is help available in Delhi NCR?

Yes it is. I am committed to helping you. With a team of Urologist, andrologist, endocrinologist and psychiatrist, I am well equipped to help each aspect of sexual health you require. You can read about my mens health clinic approach here.

@vineetgovinda @praveentripathi

You can always contact me here.

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